A Wish
by Recode
Summary: ...I’d wish to go back in time to the day when I first met you and start my life over. It sounded so simple, almost common . If I am strong, Eiri, why would your words bother me so?


Dear me… How long has it been since I last wrote a one-shot for Gravi? And how long is it since I last updated my fics? (sob) It feels so nice to write again, though I have the feeling that this story is quite confusing and lame and… plain sucks. Anyway, I'm off to update my two other fics. Enjoy Oh, one more thing, _standard disclaimers apply_.

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_Should these memories fade away one day, I'll wish for a miracle to happen…_

_A miracle that would be able to bring me back to the day I first met you…_

_And start our life over…_

Angel Presents  
**A WISH  
**A Yuki x Shuichi story

"_Nee, Eiri?"_

"_Hmm?"_

"_If you're given a chance to realise one wish, what would it be?"_

"_Only one?"_

"_U-huh."_

"_. . . Then, I'd wish to go back in time to the day when I first met you…and…"_

"_And?"_

"_. . .and start my life over. I want to start my life over."_

Shuichi wiped a single tear that had unknowingly trickled down his face as he recalled his conversation with Yuki a few nights before. He was so happy, then. They were actually spending time together looking up to the wondrous, starry night sky when Shuichi claimed he saw a shooting star. Yuki had snorted, telling the now established singer that it was just a figment of his overactive imagination because he was looking at the same sky but saw no such thing. Up until this very day, Shuichi could not remember what possessed him to ask Yuki 'the' question.

He did not has the chance to ask Yuki what the novelist meant by 'starting his life over'. The phone rang, interrupting their peaceful moment. After receiving the call, both acted as if nothing happened. Even Shuichi pretended he did not ask Yuki anything - pretended that the novelist said nothing.

But it hurt inside.

Did Yuki mean to say that he wished he had never met Shuichi? Was he trying to say that he regretted ever meeting the vocalist? Was that it? He didn't know. They had been lovers for more than two years, but he still fail to comprehend what Yuki always thought of. It frustrated him in a way. Wiping the rest of the tear tracks off his delicate face, Shuichi got up and headed towards Yuki's office. He softly knocked the door twice but the only answer he got was silence. Slowly, he twisted the doorknob and pushed it open. Yuki was in the room alright, but he was fast asleep at his desk with his laptop still on. The younger man could not help but smile at this sight. He quickly retrieved a blanket from their shared bedroom and spread it over his sleeping lover. For a moment, Shuichi did nothing but stare; stared at his lover like he was going to vanish if he did so much as turn around and leave the room. His loving smile turned bleak as he recalled Yuki's words again.

"…_I want to start my life over."_

'_Why, Eiri_?' He asked himself silently. '_Why would you want to start your life over from the point when you first met me? Do you want to change history, change it so you won't have me in your life_?' He did not like this lingering doubt he felt inside. The doubt was slowly eating away at his fragile heart which has been broken just to be healed again over and over. Sighing softly, Shuichi leaned down to plant a small kiss on his beloved's forehead. He put Yuki's laptop on Stand By mode and left the room as silently as he had crept in. The lofty apartment was so silent that any move he made reverberated in the daunting silence. In two years, the once 'overactive' vocalist had matured a lot. He was no longer the over-persistent boy he once was. He was more sensible in making decisions, and more careful in analysing any fact he received. He didn't whine so much just to get his precious' attention anymore. In other words, Shindou Shuichi had changed although not so much. The silence, however, was too much for him to bear at this moment.

He needed to get out even for just a few minutes.

Shuichi scribbled a short note telling Yuki that he would be out for a while just in case the latter woke up before he was back. He donned a cap and a pair of shades so no one knows of his identity. It would be a fiasco if his fans happened to recognise him. The park was among his favourite place, the park where he first met Yuki. For a reason that even Shuichi himself failed to comprehend, the particular park seemed to give away calming atmosphere that soothed his confused heart. The breeze was always so calming. He didn't know why the park seemed to always be almost empty. He walked aimlessly, just letting the serenading breeze calm his troubled soul. Still, the conversation he had with Yuki came back to nag at him.

"_If you're given a chance to realise one wish, what would it be?"_

If he were to ask himself the same question, what would his answer be? What was it that he wished for? To be honest, Shuichi could not remember anymore. He stopped wishing for so much as he matured, because he knew that not all wishes could come true. Even Yuki sometimes said that wishes were for dreamers.

"_If you're given a chance to realise one wish, what would it be?"_

Shuichi could not begin to answer his own question. On a wooden bench not so far in front of him, a young boy was sobbing. For a while, Shuichi was reminded of himself a few years ago. Slowly, he made his way to the boy as not to startle him. The boy looked so miserable. Shuichi wondered what he himself looked like when he sobbed like that. "Hello, there," he greeted. The boy looked up, almost startled out of his wits. Shuichi chuckled when the boy looked like he was trying to run away from him. "Don't be scared, young man. I'm not going to harm you."

". . . "

"I was just taking a walk around, and I saw you crying."

The boy wiped his tears with his sleeve. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you, sir."

Shuichi shook his head. "You look like you needed someone to talk to. Why are you crying?"

The boy said nothing at first. Shuichi assumed the boy was around sixteen years old and he was smaller than he was when he was around that age. "My parents threw me out," the boy said, not looking at Shuichi. "They were always arguing with each other, and paid no attention to me at all. When they found out about something that I'm not ready to tell them, they… they threw me out." Shuichi frowned. "Why would your parents throw you out of the house? What could you possibly have done?" No parents had the right to claim no responsibility over their own children!

"Well, it's because… they found out that I'm… gay."

Shuichi blinked a couple of times. He was thankful for the shades or he would have looked ridiculous. "That's so cruel of them," he said without thinking. "They could have at least talked to you or anything." The boy looked up in surprise at that. "You're not disgusted that I'm gay?"

'_If you only know, young man!_' Shuichi shrugged. "I think we all have our right to choose what we want. Everyone is the same; we breathe the same air and we live on the same Earth. Not much difference at all."

The boy with brown hair smiled. "I'm glad you think so. Anyway, then I went to my… my boyfriend's house. And I… I…" His smile faded. Tears started to run down his face again. "I found out that he was hospitalised a few hours before I arrived. The doctor said he had leukaemia." Ah… Shuichi didn't know what to say at that. He couldn't picture being banished by his parents and then went to Yuki's place just to find out that his lover was dying. No, he couldn't imagine that at all.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where I should go! I… I just wish I could start my life over!"

Shuichi was stunned. "Start your life…over?"

"_. . . Then, I'd wish to go back in time to the day when I first met you…and…"_

"_And?"_

"_. . .and start my life over. I want to start my life over."_

The young boy sobbed and nodded. "I don't want all these to happen. I don't want my parents finding out about me being gay. I don't even want to be gay in the first place! I… I just want to be an ordinary boy with a normal life…"

Shuichi's eyes narrowed. So, the boy wanted to erase everything that he had been through… Sighing audibly, he put an encouraging hand on the boy's shoulder. "There are many people out there wishing to start their life over from certain points of their life. But such will remain a wishful thinking. No one can turn back time. We'll just have to live with it. You can't even forget the past, for those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. You'll just have to move on with your life and live with it." Shuichi didn't know to whom he was talking to. To the boy? To himself? Or to Yuki Eiri, maybe?

"A single action may be fatal. Even a single wish could be a curse to oneself. You'll just have to stop wishing for so much. It will just hurt in the end." Shuichi ended his speech with a smile. The boy was looking at him as though he was an Angel sent from above. His wide hazel eyes shone with hope. "You remind me of that one song my favourite band sings."

"Really? What song?"

"It's called 'On the Other Side'. I love the song so much!" He seemed to lighten up, so Shuichi smiled. He knew the song too. It was a song of hope, an advice for everyone to never give up hope. "Ah, I see… So, you listen to Bad Luck?"

The boy nodded. "My favourite band! I admire Shuichi-sama. They say he's been through so much before achieving his fame. I wish I could be as strong as he is." Shuichi chuckled at that. He ruffled the boy's hair and stood up. "Feeling better now?"

"I think so. Thank you for listening to me. I think I'm going to the hospital. The least I could do now is giving him my moral support. After that, I'd try going home and talk to my parents. There's no use wishing to go back time, right? Thank you for helping me realise that."

"Don't mention it. Just be happy with your life. What's your name, anyway?"

"My name is Shouji."

"Well then Shouji, I must be going now. I wish you luck." He waved the boy goodbye and turned around to leave. "Wait! You haven't told me your name yet!" Shouji shouted. Shuichi turned around from where he was standing. He took off his shades and his cap, and then watched as Shouji's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Good luck, Shouji-kun. I wish you a happy life." Shouji watched Shuichi's retreating back in surprise. The one who was talking to him and sitting next to him was his idol all along! He smiled a big, genuine smile and shouted to his idol. "Thank you, Shuichi-sama! I wish you a happy life too!"

Shuichi waved without turning back. Inside, he envied the boy for getting over his sorrow so fast. Shouji said he admired the idol's strength but Shouji did not know that Shuichi was not strong. He was not as strong as people thought. If he was strong…

"_. . . Then, I'd wish to go back in time to the day when I first met you…and…"_

"_And?"_

"_. . .and start my life over. I want to start my life over."_

If he was strong, why would it bother him so? And the words he said to the boy…

"…_No one can turn back time. We'll just have to live with it."_

A single tear found its way down the singer's cheek. Even the sky looked like it was going to cry soon. "Is that what you're doing, Eiri?" He asked out loud. "Is that what you've been doing? Living with it, knowing that you can't turn back time and undo the day you met me? Living with it, knowing that I've turned your world upside down and it's impossible for you to go back? Is that it, Eiri?"

Again, silence was the only answer he acquired.

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"I'm home."

"Welcome home."

Shuichi looked up, surprised. Yuki was standing at the hallway leading to the kitchen. The former looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost seven in the evening! He didn't realise he had gone out for more than three hours. "I made dinner. Where have you been?" Yuki asked, worry laced his every word. "Just the park. I needed to clear my head off a few things."

They had dinner in silence, neither of them said anything. Shuichi knew Yuki was staring at him throughout their meal but he chose not to comment on it. After the meal, when Shuichi was doing the dishes, he gathered his courage to finally ask his lover the question that he had been dying to ask for the past few days. "Nee, Eiri?"

"Hmm?"

"Remember the other day when I asked you what would your wish be if you have the chance to realise one?"

"Sure, what about it?"

"Well, you see… I wonder… What do you mean when you said you want to… start your life over?"

Yuki almost dropped his mug at the unexpected question. He wondered how he could have missed this. Shuichi had been so silent and sad since that night, he noticed that. What he didn't notice was the impact of his words on the singer.

He should have known…

"Shuichi…" He closed the water tap, stopping Shuichi from continuing with the dishes. Shuichi said nothing when Yuki led him out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Shuichi…" Yuki started again. He didn't know how to start. "Is that what's been bothering you these past few days? You've been so down because of what I said that night, haven't you?"

"… not really…"

A sigh. "Shu-chan, it's not what you think."

"Eiri"

"When I said I want to start my life over, I didn't mean that I wished I had never met you. I didn't mean it in that way. What I really wanted to say was… I want to go back to the day I first met you and start things over. I want to take back the harsh words I threw at you. I want to understand you more. I want to undo the pain I know I caused you. I want to undo the tears you shed because of my coldness. I want to treat you better. And I… I want to… I want to…" At that point, Shuichi had tears running endlessly down his face. Yuki hugged him close to him, clinging to the younger man almost desperately. Shuichi could feel the older man shook with oncoming tears.

"Eiri…" Shuichi sobbed as he felt Yuki's tears on his back.

"I want to tell you my real name from the beginning. And I want to fall in love with you over and over again…"

"I said I wanted to start my life over from that point where I first met you because my life only started the day I found you."

The dam broke. Shuichi sobbed, not caring how immature it sounded. He felt so guilty for doubting Yuki even after being with him for a few years. "I'm sorry for doubting you, Eiri. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Shu-chan. It's okay."

That's all Shuichi needed to hear now. He needed to know that everything was okay. He needed to know that Yuki never wanted to undo the day they first met each other. Knowing that, he got the answer to his own question.

"_If you're given a chance to realise one wish, what would it be?"_

Shuichi smiled through his tears. His answer would be "Nothing." He has no more wishes to be realised.

He knew he had Yuki's love.

…It was enough.


End file.
